Finally made it to London
Wednesday, May 28th, 2008Was quite an ordeal to be honest! I flew out of Bangkok at 11.55pm (nearly midnight), and after an awesome dinner with Stuart at Cabbages and Condoms and a flawless cab ride to the Airport that took less than half an hour from Soi 22 Sukhumvit (fast!), I boarded a Lufthansa flight to Frankfurt (10.5 hours) with a connection to London (1 hour).
Flight was ok to Frankfurt and it was funny sleeping next to a Thai guy and a Polish woman that snored! Flight attendents were all up themselves and generally just bitches, but I enjoyed it none the less. Was spoken to in German a few times which I found quite amusing, once in the airport they all spoke to me in English, I think the attire gave that away, lol. Anyway I managed to miss my connecting flight after fucking about in duty free buying a nice bottle of Vodka for Alan and Loretta and some Lacoste deoderant for myself to match my bottle of Parfum back home.
I couldn’t board the next flight, nor the one after as they were fully booked, after a little haggling (I’m nothing compared to a German) , I asked the nicest lady there how the priority system works, she replied, there is none, it’s in the heart, I laughed and stated Fair enough! She told me I’d be on the next flight and sure enough I was! Business class none the less and I sat next to a German guy that was head of IT for an entire airline, he was a great guy and showed me how the Tube worked and where and what I had to do to meet Alan at Tower Hill. We had a great chat about all manner of topics and I think he was impressed with my knowledge of IT and the World despite my un-business attire. Was quite funny, and he’s off to Thailand next year, so gave him some good tips.
We reached the Airport and after haggling past some of the business travellers, we agreed to meet on the other side if I could get there fast enough, he advised me to fill in the white form to enter customs and he went into the Eu line and beat me through by a long way as there were loads of ppl in my line.
So here I am carrying my large pack filled with gifts from Stuart to Alan and Loretta, my laptop laden with cables and crap, as well as a duty free bag with a large bottle of Copper distilled Vokda (really nice bottle) and a deodorant stick I couldn’t open yet, nursing my ribs and foot through the line was shitty! I smelt bad, need a shower and felt like shit. I filled in the white form which promptly asked for an address of where I am staying. I couldn’t fill it in as I didn’t know the address and with no way to use the Internet to obtain Alan’s phone number in Frankfurt (no German adaptor), nor any way to get online in the UK (no wifi, or internet options), I had to go through without it.
So I stepped up as my turn finally arrived and explained my situation and why I was in the UK, the guy was nothing short of a dickhead and took an instant dislike to me as soon as I said Good Morning (must not have been), anyway he started interrogating me (serious, I got to witness many an entry! he was an ass to me for sure!), taking notes and generally being an ass. I couldn’t believe it to be honest. Next second he’s stated that I have not met the entry requirements and that I’m being detained and will probably be told to leave. Basically because he wanted to he fucked me for no real reason whatsoever, that was clearly evident.
So I was detained and taken in for further questions, all my baggage searched and put in a holding cell to await futher questions - but only after waiting 3 hours, clearly demonstrating that I had told the truth at all times on more than 4 occasions and showing them my converstations with Alan on facebook and giving them his phone number and our arrangement details. I was to go to Tower hill on the tube and call Alan and he’d meet me and show my how to get to his place, it’s complex. They couldn’t even let me obtain an address and be on my way and it all came back to the initial Immigration Officer, he really needed some friends I think, either that or a good root (as vulgar as that sounds, it’s so true!) So anyways being guilty until proven innocent was quite an experience and it’s testament to my character that I didn’t even get angry, despondent, nor even pissed off once! By this stage I had been awake for over 30 hours and was just fucked! Thailand has really taught me how to chill, that’s for sure!
So here I was sitting in detention with 3 Iraqis that were assilum seekers and I decided that I’d had enough. I went about reading all the literature available to me and I worked out I could ask to speak to another Immigration Officer and question my grouds for detainment, so I did! As it turns out he was an excellent bloke (not hard after the other wank) and he promptly listened to what I had to say and actually investigated my ‘elledged’ story, all of which was 100% true - so the squeeky wheel really does get the grease, and I was out within the next hour, to hour and a half! So 6 hours it took me, just to clear UK Customs, moral of the story, have an address!
What an intro to the UK and what a joke! I understand their concern. I also understand they have a fairly shit ‘me too’ attitude, as they clearly stated that if they entered Australia they’d have recieved equally stringent treatment, while I agree (Au customs are usually right though from my experience), I’m half Kiwi and will be traveling on a NZ passport next time for sure. Australia’s new passports have a chip in them, and if it’s similar to the US one’s (prob will be), they’ll be tracing your every step. Australia is really starting to suck, you heard it here first (lmao, ignore my BS)! But wouldn’t happen in Germany, that guy on the plane was great converstation indeed!
I also feel that it’s generational discrimination that I wasn’t allowed to use the Internet to proove my ‘claims’, the (decent) Immigation officer thought I was being a wanker when I said it (wouldn’t dare say it to the other), but after I explained that we communicate far more heavily online than via phone, I think he understood my concern (eventually, after I took him through what, how and why I made a living). It was an interesting situation anyway and like I told mum (I called, just to freak her out :P) from the phone in the cell thingy, at least it will make a good blog post, which I hope it has!
Anyway! London is amazing, I met Alan at Tower Hill and walked across the Tower Bridge and along to probably the busiest train station I’ve ever seen and bought an Oyster card so I can travel anywhere in Zone 1 and 2 for a week, cost about $60AUD and I’m sure it will be well worth it, I’d have bought a month, but you need a card first (bit silly). I was amazed at the variety of people getting about and the amound of beautiful women and cardboard cut-out look a like business men, that really do look quite class, clad in their native London attires! Shame they ALL look the same though, kinda spoils the look a bit! But I guess that’s what happens when there are so many of them! Damn they can walk fast too, hard for a hob-knob pirate like myself! Garrr!
We went out last night for a couple of pints at a local pub and I got a feel for this area, it’s in Zone 2 and near a bunch of art colleges, so lot’s of foreign looking people and artsy students, the vibe here is very cool and quite different to central London, although only one station removed. I don’t think I’ll get jet lag for some reason and my body feels adapted already, which is strangeconsidering my past 48 hours, but my ankles did swell up from the flight and the socks I was wearing were too tight to fly in, next time, I’ll stick to thongs, to take my shoes and socks off and try and walk around a little!
Today I’m going to investigate central London, stating with Big Ben, naturally! Really enjoying the cooler climate and it’s really similar to Melbourne temperatures and feel atm.
I’ve got Alan’s Internet working and it’s nice and fast, so later today I’ll add some pics of what I see! So nice to be living in London for a month, in a really nice little place with decent internet, so close to town with all my transport sorted, I can see why Alan loves it here so much! He’s looking great, much younger than I expected and he’s still the same champion character he always was. It was also great fun to have a good bitch and moan about his little brother (hi stu!) and spin Loretta out with our anecdotes of growing up, of which there are so many more that I think we both remembered!
One thing is for sure, when you make a good friend that has a consistant nature you have a friend and memories for like - as corny as that sounds, it’s been great to catch up with Stu, Al and also getting to know Loretta better, she’s really quite a funny girl and great company. Ok, I think that’s enough sucking up to keep me here a week! Chat soon!
Hope you’re all well 
