The Lord

… And not the normal funny either! Usually it’s making an inappropriate or cutting remark that’s (to me) usually quite funny, but today I’ve felt weird all day. For the first time in just under 2 years I’ve felt unsettled, like something is missing. Fuck, who knows? But I thought it appropriate to do a random blog post, lord know’s why? (secretly, maybe I do, after all, I be the Lord round these parts y’all!)

Anyway here it is. I downloaded music for the first time since losing my harddrive that fateful October where life changed for what’s only becoming apparant lately as the better. God what a ride! While it hasn’t exactly been sweetness and the light, it hasn’t been that bad either. But that said I think I’ve really been jelling over a lot of it and just blanketing it. Not bad Watson!

It’s strange. For the first time in at least 10 months I’m becoming productive again and things are really starting to move. I have even started commenting in public via blogs and forums again, which is always a good sign. As strange as it sounds I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, which in light of recent events is more than sobering - much like an injection of adrenalin straight to the heart (an experience I’m yet to discover).

It’s about 2am here in London and I’ve really never been able to stay awake like I can here. I know tomorrow I’ll wake early and be fine. More strangely still, this will be the third day in a row doing it. Considering I’m still battling along with this silly cold (almost ended now!) and strange thoughts about all manner of things going through my head, some of which I would have found horrific just 3 months ago, I feel good. Real good!

I never made it around to posting about Amsterdam and the random adventures that ensued, I just felt off the whole time and little wonder why. Shit happens. I will definately do a solid round up post before I leave.

I’ve decided that in the interest of public health and safety I needed another break, technically a break, from a break, from a break - that latter of which has become my life Life is really good when you have options of freedom, create them, or at least dream about them (not that I’m that familiar with the latter - but finally I can dream again, in more ways then two as well, lol).

So it looks like what I wanted to say has once again turned into a ramble post, something that I never thought I’d really enjoy as much. I do really love blogging, a happy self reflective comic does Bennie make…

My next destinations are France, Spain, Monaco, Italy, Vatican City, Greece, Austria, Germany, Liechtenstein, Switzerland, Netherlands, something I really cannot be complaining about, albeit for the cost. But I know this is where I’m meant to be, which is really another foreign feeling in itself and I also for the first time (in a while) know why. Not something I’m about to delve into here (draw your own conclusions, even if you’re wrong, you can be right okay!), nor something I fully understand, but it *feels* right. Refreshing.

So on the 1st of July I start my Euro jaunt. I have downloaded a boatload of seriously dodge house, garage, hardstyle, trance, electro, dance and all between and I’m planning on getting just a little silly for the month. So here’s to July 2008 and what it has install, going to be an interesting one I’d say - and if it’s not, fuck it - I’m going to make it interesting. As those that know me well, would tell you I always get what I want (eventually) - it’s a scorpio thing, and next month shall be the same no less. I have poise, drive and focus - relaxavu.

So to all the folk back in Australia, and everyone else, happy July! I’m not going to take my laptop with me and intend on spending the entire month offline. I know it will kill me and thinking about my bloody ’stats’ will drive me mental, but that’s life. If I can go without all that I love since October, then I’m sure a little time away from the income, stats and domains will do me good. At least I won’t be dumping 50-75% of my income on new names (arrgghhh!), I’m sure I’ll thank myself someday. I’m almost up to 600 domains now too

It’s kind of nice that I’m not the Web geek I once was, granted the past week or two have been fairly hectic, getting all manner of things online, but that’s me - all work and no play, then all play and no work. I figure after next month, just chill, do the rest of England, Scotland, Wales, then Japan (so excited about Japan I could wet myself - don’t believe me? you probably should! I don’t lie, more keep secrets, did I mention my incontinence?).

So apart from a conference I’ve been looking forward to for at least a year in November, it will be all work once I get back to Oz, then more than likely I’ll move back to Thailand via Bali - where I will surf until I have abs again. From there I’m saving for an M3 and some property in Oz. I have a vision, it’s grand jealousy creating (shit I hope) and utopian (perhaps Heterotopic - not the medcal definition, older, deeper) but achievable and will set the foundation for grandiose things. That said, I might liquidate some assets and try for a car faster (faster car? maybe even just a damn car?), or even settle on something less ambitious, but that said I’d hate to disappoint, not anyone but myself either. Can’t say that I’ve ever really cared what others think of me despite my at time bitchy, sensitive demeanour - I just figure people don’t understand me yet. Many never will, sadly!

To be honest I know people don’t understand me, which is totally understandable in itself! You become painfully intelligent for a day or two and let me know how you go spending your life watching the land of “ignorance is bliss”! At least outside Australia your opinion is valued a little more (a little :D). Western culture, what a joke! Also for those I just offended, maybe you should be, dumbasses Not like you know, nor realise what you don’t! Intelligence isn’t what you know, it’s knowing what you *don’t* know, and more importantly going to lengths to address the divide! What *lengths* did you go to today?

Anyway I think that’s an accurate depiction what that be the current Master Benjamin Theodore Wilks! Hope you enjoyed my ramble, I certainly did, how therapeutic! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh *deep, deep breath* *large, large, slow exhale* and NO! I didn’t inhale to start with - honestly guv!

Night folks, I’ll post the rest of the Amsterdam pics and some more Benglish babble real soon. Also sorry for the offbeat random post! I have honestly never felt more relaxed - never! And it only get’s better from here = w00t!

Love you,

Bx

This entry was posted on Monday, June 23rd, 2008 at 10:35 am and is filed under Holiday. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.